Morning Sun February 14th, 2008 08:12 Tuesday I took Fiona to her pediatrician for the 1-month checkup. I had to go out into the world with a bottle, a diaper bag, and no Mistie. Over the past week, both Mistie and I have had a cold. My cold came first and is mostly passed. Mistie's was just getting started and she needed some rest. Fiona kept her up for hours the night before. Fiona was a little under weight at her first doctors visit, but after a month she's caught up and is exactly on target for weight, height etc. We've all gotten on a schedule at home. Mistie still feeds Fiona at night around 2:00 a.m. and 4:30 a.m. Fee usually starts growling, kicking, meowing, and all kinds of other noises at 6:00 a.m. That's when I take her out of our room so Mistie can try to get a few hours of sleep in a row. We go out to the living room and watch the sun rise as I rock her. Sometimes we sit close and watch the fish in my 90 gallon tank. When I'm lucky, I can put her down in her crib and catch another hour of sleep. I love watching the sun rise. I always have. When I worked the night shift at Florida Hospital, I always took a few minutes to watch and enjoy. It's the most peaceful time of day. The little booger is growing fast and getting to be more and more fun. She's smiling sometimes, and it melts me every time. Ryan Fresh Art Stand January 24th, 2008 12:33 Come to the Fresh Art Stand on February 2nd at the Maitland Farmers Market. I will be showing works from my new series Sea Monsters and Sushi. I hope to see you there. Ryan Fiona Key is here... January 24th, 2008 12:29 My daughter has arrived. She's so cute. Fiona was born at 12:16 pm on 1/08. She's got dark hair, and lips like her aunt Desi. Mistie and I doing fine. We're tired, as expected. I'm sure I'll update you later with more baby news, but for now I'll leave you with this: The only thing worse than a poopy diaper, is the baby pooping while you're changing poopy diaper. New Year's Art Trade Details... December 27th, 2007 14:48 The 7th Annual Rossism New Year's Art Trade and Party is taking place at Alex & Amy's apartment again this year. 2885 Red Lion Square Winter Park, FL 32792 You should come out and enjoy the art, music, and festivities. I'll be showing and trading many new works of art including a new series of marker scetches. Arrive as early as 5:00 p.m. and ring in the new year in style. Life is a Highway October 13th, 2007 15:16 Today at lunch in a restaurant, I heard the song "Life is a Highway." As the intro be-bopped into the chorus, I had an idea for a business. It's a subscription business, where I pay someone Fifteen Dollars per month to never hear "Life is a Highway." Ever. I mean not in commercials, or coming from someone else's car as I drive with my windows down. For the guarantee that I never hear this song, I'm willing to pay fifteen dollars per month. That's One Hundred and Eighty dollars per year, to never hear the harmonica solo or the backup singers. The business could offer monthly fees or for a ten percent discount pay once per year upfront. Of course at that reasonable price, I would probably add on an additional Four dollars and Ninety Nine cents per week to never hear a song by Phil Collins. This includes animated movie scores & soundtracks. This idea is a real moneymaker. Someone is going to make a fortune off of me. I'm looking at you Bill Gates. Ryan On Hold October 11th, 2007 15:44 I'm sitting at my desk, on hold. I've been waiting for about 20 minutes. I would hang up, but the call is in regards to my money and how I should have more of it. I don't have speaker phone so I'm craning my neck to the side to hold the receiver to my ear while I type. ... 20 minutes later, the call timed out. I'm furious. I call back and give the operator what-for. He's a nice guy, and is trying to help. I'm back on hold, but he promises it will be short. 45 minutes waiting so far... Waiting... Oh wow, on hold again. Kill me. No don't kill me, just talk to me instead of playing muzak at me. Ryan Marker Sketches and Inspiration October 5th, 2007 15:19 I've posted several new pieces in my gallery. I made them on location in Washington. Two were done on a beach on Widbey Island, and two were done on a rocky cliff on Orcas Island. I've also posted Queen Conch and Silent As A Carp. I've contacted the poet Bob Hicok for permission to reprint his poem which the painting was inspired by, and hope to post it in the description soon. Ryan Jive & Freestyle Pasta August 12th, 2007 12:11 Zip zam zooey. Those are the sounds I make in my head when I'm feeling creative. Friday night I went to a live concert with Ian. TZBI was great. They've really added a new layer to their stage presence, via mustaches. You've got to see it. Before the show I ate at Il Pescatore. Before the show I started a new portrait. It's of the Great Donald P. Belisario. You know, the creator of Magnum P.I., Quantum Leap, and many many more shows. This painting continues my series of artists and writers I admire. We ate at il Pescatore again on Saturday for lunch, then went museum hopping. Student discounts at the Cornell Museum at Rollins College and the Morse Museum in downtown Winter Park were much appreciated. And the inspiration has my mind zipping and zapping. I'm going to finish my portrait and start another soon. Plus I'll post my new art in the gallery in the next day or so. Also, Alex is working really hard on Rossism.com. Should I have any readers who are also down with the movement, you should check out www.rossism.com and look at the new artist pages. If you want one, you can have one too. The only stipulation is that you use it. Update it. Interact. I think that's a fair deal. Zip Zippy, make art and boogy. Business and Leisure August 5th, 2007 09:53 First the business of RyanWollard.com - I was a featured artist in pARTicipation 2007, my third year in this interactive art show at the Maitland Art Center. I was unable to attend the reception. Then when I arrived to paint with my patron, she had already left. She thought our appointment was at 3:00 and I thought it was at 5:00. Anyhow, she requested a palm tree painting. I created another piece in the vein of Hurricane. Home. This time I used blues as the primary background. I didn't have my camera, but should get an image of the piece emailed to me one of these days. Now the Leisure - Friday night, some friends were in town. One is a Sonographer. He offered to perfom the much anticipated first sonogram for Mistie and I. For his own well-being, I will refer to him as M-Life. He used to work at a certain hospital, and has connections in his old department. Marvin, Alex, Amy, Alice, Caren, Ian, Mistie, M-Life and I all felt like cat burglers as we walked the halls from one end of the hospital to the other. We were buzzing with anticipation. Would we find out the sex of the baby? Would we be arrested? The majority of us waited while M-Life went into the waiting room and asked the person on call for a favor. They responded "I didn't see anything," with a wink. M-life called us in to the room through a back door and we hurried inside. Soon we were seeing the first glimpses of my son. That's right. It's a boy! We took a ton of pictures, and watched the little guy wiggle and stretch. At 16 weeks, he's already a little person. Hands, feet, eyes, mouth, and of course twig and berries. It's a boy. It was so cool to experience that with friends and family. I wish more of you could have been there. Everyone smiled as M-Life positioned the view to show something new. It was exciting. Later we toasted our grand enterprise. It was a good day. A very good day. Ryan Heart July 27th, 2007 12:26 Yesterday I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It's funny how there are stages to the realization that I've helped create another human. First, the reality of Mistie being pregnant manifests itself in the form of morning sickness. Knowing Mistie's got nausia and can only keep certain weird foods down is real. I see it. I know it. And I know it means there will be a baby later. But, it's not as real as when Mistie's tummy starts to grow a bit. And the most real I've experienced was yesterday when I heard the baby's heartbeat, via microphone heart monitor thingy, at the Doctor's office. I was floored. Its heart beat so fast. It gave me courage. It made me believe it's going to be a healthy happy baby. I have no reason to believe otherwise, but it's one of my fears. I've skimmed through "What to Expect, When You're Expecting," and it freaked me the hell out. Every page was full of doom and gloom. But yesterday I heard a strong baby. My baby. And it was real. I'm really excited and happy. Ryan News July 3rd, 2007 15:47 I'm due for an update, so here we go! - Mistie and I were married on June 12th, in the Orange County Courthouse. - We're having a baby, don't know the sex yet, and are due in early February. Morning sickness officially sucks, but Mistie is doing better now than 2 weeks ago. - I went to Sandals, in Jamaica with Alex. We drank a bit, ate free food, and mostly felt bad for being there. The locals put on a show of friendliness, but it's all so fake. The poverty witnessed as we flew into Montego Bay, followed by the slothful opulence of Sandals was really upsetting. - I won both a Weber Grill and a fake gold grill (for my teeth) in Pittsburgh at the Heinz national sales meeting. It was a busy week. - I've finished 2 paintings so far this year, but haven't loaded either to my gallery. Sorry. One was a Queen Conch, and the other is a painting called Silent as a Carp. It's inspired by a poem called O My Pa-Pa. The painting is an underwater scene of 2.2 carps with flowing river grasses. Silent as a Carp will be on display at the Maitland Art Center (www.MaitlandArtCenter.org) for pARTicipation 2007. Go see it this Friday night! I'll spend the 4th in the Florida Keys. It will be a great time to recharge the batteries and relax. I'll bring canvas and try to finish some art while I'm there. Have a safe one. Ryan California isn't on fire May 11th, 2007 09:31 I've been here for around 20 hours now, and I can safely state that California is not on fire. I haven't seen any fires, or smoke. I flew in to Los Angeles, and I didn't even notice more than the usual smog. Don't listen to the media. Unless you're listening to the internet. Specifically this website. And by listen I mean reading this article. Yesterday I may have gotten a 0 ticket for running a red light. I don't know yet. I rented a car and was cruising through an intersection when suddenly everyone stopped. I was stuck. Then the light turned yellow. Nobody moved. Then the light turned red and there was a glorious flash of light as the fancy California camera police took my picture. It was really bright. I'm hoping the rental car company doesn't turn me in, when they get the ticket. I will fight it if possible. Doesn't that suck? My rental is a sweet 2007 Kia with 400 miles. Mmmm. New cheap car smell. I cruised down the PCH (California's A1A, for my Floridian's) and saw some nice coastline. Yesterday for lunch I had Ethiopian food. It was really good. I love how so many cultures live in this area and have their own little districts. I should say, I love that they appear to be accepting of each other and willing to share their culture with others. Today is day one of Pete's wedding extravaganza. I'll check in when I can. Ryan Back to Work April 19th, 2007 08:07 I finished my first painting of the year. I call it Queen Conch. It will be posted in my gallery shortly. I also started another large painting, with the working title of Touchdown Buddha. This weekend I will be at the Maitland Arts Festival. Amy organized poetry readings in one of the booths, many Rossists will participate. If you're in the area, you should come out to Lake Lily for the fun. I plan on painting in the park throughout the day. Ryan Accidents and Driving April 10th, 2007 14:39 I work on the road. I drive many many miles, and have witnessed quite a few accidents in the past 3 years. Today as I cruised south on I-95 to West Palm Beach, I was forced to come to a complete stop. This happens often enough. I assumed correctly that the accident was on the opposite, northbound, side of the highway because that side of the road was vacant. Slowly we inched forward and eventually came to the scene of the accident. Based on the helicopters and news crews and cops, it was a bad one. I keep my eyes forward. One, I don't like seeing dead people in the road. Two, the traffic stop on my side of the road was caused by "rubber-necks." You know, people looking at the accident scene instead of the road. Well today, I was amazed at the guy in front of me. As we pulled alongside of the wreckage, he put a cell phone out his window to take a picture. Then, to prove beyond all doubt that he was a complete jackass he waved his arms about in the air after we started moving again. As if to say "Why are we not moving people, the accident is over there?" I was floored. He was just the cause of the delay. It was his fault. His slow moving picture session delayed hundreds of people in the lane behind him. Sure, it was only for a few seconds but why bother taking a picture? I made it home safe and sound, and hope that if I ever find myself on a stretcher on the side of the road I will have the strength to flip off all picture taking passers-by. Ryan Night of the living nearly-dead April 4th, 2007 19:43 The Flu rolled into town last week. It took a spin around the block, and settled on ruining a perfectly good weekend. My god-daughter Alice was sick first, followed by Amy. Alex & Mistie were the next to suffer. I was still feeling alright, so I made a run to the store for supplies like gatorade, water, and crackers. It was a 24 virus for everyone... but me. I got sick on Saturday, around 4:00 a.m. I slept in Mistie's bathroom that night. I was lucky in that Mistie was feeling better on Saturday and was able to keep me hydrated. I thought I was in the clear by Sunday morning, but as the day went on felt worse and worse. I decided to stay put and not make the 2 hour drive home. This was a wise decision. I couldn't fall asleep Sunday night, and I started shivering violently around 2:00 a.m. I was shaking like Shakira, but not in a sexy way. Mistie convinced me to go, and drove me to the Emergency Room. I couldn't quit shaking. It really freaked us out. They gave me Tylenol, muscle relaxers, and 2 liters of I.V. fluids. We were there for about 5 hours, and I was glad to have Mistie with me. While waiting they subjected us to a horrible movie with Ben Aflec and Liv Tyler. It literally made me feel worse. Today, Wednesday, was the first day I woke up and felt well again. HOORAY! No Squirts! Ryan p.s. I couldn't make it through the story without writing squirts. Sorry. Get Outside and Live! March 19th, 2007 08:59 I had a relaxing yet exciting weekend. How is that possible? I mixed equal amounts of adventure and lazy fun in the sun. The adventure came in the form of new places. I went to the Orlando Wetlands Park with a bunch of friends to ride our bikes on the nature trails, have a picnic, and take a nap in the sun. We saw baby gators up close, and lots of birds. The sky was a sharp blue, and the tempurature was perfect. All of that fun meant we were too tired for a concert that night, so we stayed in and watched television on Saturday night. Sunday, we went to the Downtown Market in Orlando. I love it there. The food is great and the vendors are so nice. Next we drove up to Deltona to a Scrub Jay habitat. These beautiful birds are native Floridians. They don't migrate and their only habitat is located in Central Florida. They are beautiful, and at this park they're friendly. One landed on Alex's head. Others landed on Mistie, Alice, Amy, and me. It was an incredible experience. On our way home, we stopped at Sugar Sugar. It's a candy shop. Mistie and I wanted to taste their candy as a possible wedding favor. Alice got a lollypop as big as her face. She'll be eating it for weeks. Later Sunday, Alex and I went for a bike ride. We were cutting through a park on a board walk when we heard owls. We stopped and spotted two really big ones. Get out and explore Florida. It's a beautiful State, and it's worth saving. Also, this is completely unrelated but I wanted to say something about one of my childhood hero's. Dolphin Denny, the Miami Dolphins #1 Fan for over 30 years passed away on Friday. He was an inspiration to us all. I'll never forget watching him lead cheers while wearing his huge, orange, sparkly sombrero. I'll miss you my friend. Ryan Green Grass February 28th, 2007 21:23 The last cold snap killed my lawn. Well, it punched it in the metaphorical kidneys. After the frost, my lawn turned a golden brown. I've been using the arching-rotating type of waterer-er. You know, the one that's fun to jump over. My yard is coming along well now. The watering has helped. It's amazing how much better real rain is for plants vs. watering from a hose. Here's a funny fact: It's going to be cheaper for me to rent a Hyundai compact car for four days in California, than it will be to rent a tuxedo for 1 day while there for Peter Black's wedding. That's right, a whole car with unlimited miles is worth less than a fine tux. What an incredible world we live in. FUCK QUIZNOS February 14th, 2007 21:12 I went to quizons for dinner tonight. It's Valentine's Day. I was hungry and wanted something fast, and they make a decent fast-food salad. Due to work, I wasn't able to go to Orlando to be with Mistie. The girls behind the counter were teenagers, and they looked exhausted. The line was at least 6 people long. They made subs as fast as they could while all the customers stood around waiting. One by one we filed up to the counter and ordered. And slowly we made our way to the cash register. One of the girls told me she'd been working for 12 hours. Youch! I asked the girl behind the register where the tip jar was, and she responded with: "We aren't allowed to take tips." "What? But this is a restaurant," I responded. "I know, but we aren't allowed." She said. I told her I was sorry, because they all deserved a tip. Then she handed me the credit card slip. There was clearly a spot for tips on the receipt. "I thought you weren't allowed to take tips," I said. "We dont' get that money," she said. "WHAT?!? Are you kidding me? They management keeps your tips?" I said as I tried to contain my rage. "Yes." She said. Some of the other diners overheard us, and said it wasn't fair. They had left a tip on their credit card. "That's Bullshit!" I told the girl. Then I looked around for a comment card. I didn't find one. I've decided to go back to discuss this with the manager during the day, when his lazy, money-grubbing-tip-keeping-greasy-haired-loser-self is actually in the store.* Fuck Greed. Ryan *I've never seen him. He may not have greasy hair. Tattoo's and Yard Work February 1st, 2007 17:23 Last weekend my posse', crew, or group of friends if you will, drove down to my house for a work bee and a tattoo adventure. We pressure washed the driveway, painted the trim of my home, and repainted the trim with a better color. I climbed up onto my roof and sprayed it with cleaner which only made it darker, and spent another several hours rinsing the "cleaner" off. Alex, Amy, and I got our Pineapple tattoos. Desi, Cye, and my Momma all considered getting tattoos, or wished they had more cash for one. The convention center was filled with a mix of 7 reasonable people (us) and hundreds of looney people (them). I feel like my home is really coming around. I've still got a lot of work to do, but the big things are mostly done. Ryan Evangelicals Join in Global Warming Fight January 18th, 2007 09:13 This morning as I checked email and news online I read a headline that both startled me, and made me chuckle. Evangelicals Join in Global Warming Fight It startled me because traditionally this group does nothing but promote hurtful practices towards the environment. It made me chuckle because I thought: "Sure but on what side of the fight?" In the article, the Rev. Rich Cizik says "God will judge us for destroying the Creation. Therefore, we as evangelicals have a responsibility to be even more vigilant than others." Bravo sir. We may look at the origin of the planet from two very different points of view, but I believe we both agree it's a planet worth protecting. Cizik said evangelicals and scientists are not as odd a couple as they may seem. That's news to me. I think they are the origional odd couple. One exploring, testing, retesting, studying to unlock the mysteries of existence, the other shutting itself off and condemning all things that don't fit into the bible's parameters of existence. But wait! Before you get excited about a possible change of heart by this "Nuke 'em all now and let god sort them out" crowd... "Not all evangelicals were on board. The Interfaith Stewardship Alliance, formed by evangelicals who say scientific evidence counters claims of climate change, derided Wednesday's announcement as "just another attempt to create the impression of growing consensus among evangelicals about global warming. There is no such growing consensus." The Interfaith Stewardship Alliance's inner monologue: "Burn baby burn! Big Houses! Bigger SUV's! Speaking in tongues is legitimate! Destroy the planet then jesus will have to come rescue us! It's the perfect plan! Let's build a better bomb! Kill ALL Infidels!" Don't get me wrong, a few evangelicals becoming socially conscious is a GREAT thing. Maybe one day it will become a trend. Right here in Florida, "The Rev. Joel Hunter of Northland megachurch in Longwood, Fla., refused to become president of the Christian Coalition of America last year because he said the group would not expand its agenda to include the environment and poverty. Hunter has now endorsed the new project." I'm afraid to ask what was included in the agenda. [SEE INNER MONOLOGUE LISTED ABOVE] Ryan A Tip of the Hat January 16th, 2007 09:13 I dedicated this past weekend to working on my house. I'm working toward a goal of listing my home for sale by the end of the month, because I want to move to Orlando. I have a green light from my boss, so the only hinderence is selling a house in a "slow market." Friday my best buddy and personal Master of all things Web surprised me by offering to drive down and help with the labor. Thank you again! Alex arrived on Saturday night, but I was able to replace a shower head and a lever/knob-which-is-used-to-turn-the-shower-on-off-and-adjust-heat-settings-thingy. I believe that's it's technical name. You may know it as a knob. Sunday found Alex & I ripping out old fence sections, putting up new ones, and digging post holes. While we worked on the fence, My Dad replaced two missing screens on my back porch. Tonya brought us lunch, and Bubba gave us a hand with a fence section as well. Other notable thank-you's go out to Tonya for helping clean around the spiders who currently reside on the porch, and Craig for lending out his great tool set. Thank you everyone for your help! You Rock! My next projects are to repaint the trim in front of my house, and clean the roof and driveway. Then I thouroughly clean the inside and remove the clutter. And then I put it up for sale and hope for the best. I finished the long day with a soak in my hot tub. Recap January 12th, 2007 09:29 The 6th Annual Rossism New Year's Art Show & Trade was a huge success. New artists, developing artists, and seasoned rossists came together to show their work and swap art. Mason Ashcraft won "Best in Show" for his incredible painting/installation Tracer Bullet Orders the Usual. It is a unique and creative painting which was done with black and white paint AND "invisible" colored paints which can only be seen when a blacklight is illuminated. We had a lot of new artists, and it was great. But, I can't help but mention how I missed some of my favorite artists who couldn't make it to the trade this year. My brother Bubba and my Mom (Renee) were missed. You both bring a lot of fun to the trade and I hope you can make it next year. Erin Westfall & Ramiro "the guy who makes everything a party" Berardo were also missed, though they attempted to attend the party via the internet. Oh the future is now. Finally, I'm very proud of some people who came out to the park to learn about painting from me earlier last year. Kelly and Craig both had great paintings which were highly prized. And I stand by my saying that Kelly's Giraffe is better than mine. Happy New Year! Ryan Camping and my apparent obsession with cleanliness December 20th, 2006 08:58 For those of you who have been to my home I can't imagine you would think of me as a "clean freak." I don't scrub my floors everyday. My style tends to be more of a "don't make a mess in the first place" strategy. When I do make a mess, I try to throw away trash or wipe down countertops. But the little things like dusting, or sweeping the tile floor usually get done less often. The reason I bring this up is that I went camping last weekend with a group of friends. We went to the Silver River State Park in Ocala. I had such a great time. We had two large campsites, and 4 separate tents. I was mocked as a city boy when my fire didn't start right up... But everyone enjoyed the same fire later that night when it was roaring. I put on bug spray the first night, and it was really strong stuff. Quite pungent. So before bed I took a shower. The next morning I got up and took a shower, which I do every morning. The other campers were surprised that I took a shower because apparently nobody bathes while camping. That's news to me. The facilities were right next to our camp, why not use them? Anyhow, I guess I'm a clean freak because I took at least another shower before we broke camp on Sunday morning. This holiday season, let's change the popular phrase to: "Cleanliness is next to Ryan-ness." Happy Christmas! p.s. Camping is so much fun! I want to go again. I saw at least 5 deer. Nature is cool. Our Lady of pARTicipation November 29th, 2006 20:28 Check out my gallery to see my new painting. It's boss, if I do say so myself... And I do. Totally Tubular, Dude. November 28th, 2006 20:01 Today I had my first, and hopefully last, M.R.I. I injured my shoulder as a teenager, and after many years of "dealing with it" I finally decided to go to the doctor. I've heard horror stories about the closed M.R.I.'s and was a little worried I would freak out and shove myself out of the long tube. For my first 30 minute session I listened to Nora Jones' first album. It was nice, but maybe a little too subdued. I tried to nap but the sounds the machine makes prevent sleep. I didn't mind the closed space so much as the "DO NOT MOVE A MUSCLE" rule. My hand fell asleep and I was dying to move. After the first M.R.I. on my shoulder, I was told to come back in two hours for a second one on my lower back. I've got the symptoms of a pinched nerve. I raced home, changed clothes, and hit my exercise bike. I rode for 47 minutes. My theory was to get the ants-out-of-my-pants before my second session. It worked well. The second 30-minute session was a real pleasure. It was like forced meditation. I listened to the good Dixie Chicks album, which was a little bit more upbeat, and let my mind wonder. Will I start to schedule M.R.I.'s weekly to help me relax? Maybe, but probably not. Though they're cheaper than a message, I would have to visit a doctors office. Friday I return to consult my Doc. and discover whether or not I need surgery. Boo surgery... Boo. Wish me luck, Ryan Hero November 13th, 2006 19:44 Sunday I went to my most holy place with Bubba, Alex, and Melissa. Dolphin Stadium. The Dolphins played the Kansas City Chiefs. On our way in to the stadium we cruised through Sports Town, an area outside which hosts games, face painting, live bands, food, merchandise, cheerleaders, and general merriment. I spotted Joe Bailey, the CEO of the Miami Dolphins, and introduced myself. He was a nice guy. And any other day meeting Joe Bailey would be the story. But not this day. In the late 1990's, the Dolphins signed a wide receiver from the Arena Football League's Portland Forest Dragons. He was large, and most experts didn't think he would make the team. But Oronde Gadsden did make the team, and he went on to play 74 games with the Dolphins. I've never seen a receiver do the things he did. He made impossible catches. His large hands didn't drop passes. Oronde Gadsden caught the final (420th) touchdown pass thrown by the GREAT Dan Marino. He gained fame in South Florida for his heart, and for the acrobatic catches. One of which is on display in the professional football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio. Oronde's nickname is O.G. He was sidelined too early in his career due to injury, but in the short five years he spent with the team he became one of my personal hero's. As we entered the stadium, I spotted him in the crowd. I walked up and said "O.G!" He smiled big, and shook my hand. I told him how much I appreciate him, as the others came closer and met him. He was there to promote his Buffalo Wings and watch the Dolphins game. It was great. He also checked out Melissa. Alex, Bubba, and I were starstruck. I know it's silly, but it made me happy. I met one of my favorite football players ever. A great. A legend, to me. Ryan Bill Clinton Calling, Will You Accept His Charge? November 7th, 2006 09:25 Last night I was preparing dinner when the telephone rang. A female voice asked if she had called the Wollard residence. "You certainly have." I responded. She then went on to encourage me to vote, and she was even helpful enough to list the persons which she recommended. All of her candidates were endorsed by the Democratic Party of Broward County. I thanked her for her call and wished her luck. I am registered in Broward County. I now live in Saint Lucie County. I'm also registered as one with "No Party Affiliation." The woman on the telephone must have noticed the subtle lack of interest in my voice. I would be more interested if had remembered to register to vote in St. Lucie, but I forgot. Without the ability to vote this time around, I just haven't paid close attention to the candidates. Now I imagine what happens next. Woman in Broward calls her supervisor in Fort Lauderdale. The Supervisor Calls his manager in Tallahassee, who calls his boss in Washington D.C. She calls former President Bill Clinton. "Mr. President, [pause], I have some potentially bad news." She says as she builds up the courage to go on. "Go ahead sugar, it will be alright. Just tell Daddy Billy what's wrong." He responds. She takes a deep breath and launches into saying: "Well sir, an independant voter without any party affiliaton who would have voted for Democratic candidates due to his extreme distaste for the Republican party isn't going to vote. He didn't seem interested, and frankly sir it's been reported by our help in Broward that he may not believe in the ability of any government anywhere to ever be representative of any given population. He lacks faith in the system sir. Hold me." "Listen honey dumplin', you did the right thing in calling me about this, sugar. [Bites his lower lip] I WILL Do What I Can. Get me our voice recorder. And a hoagie. And a penthouse magazine. No Onions on the hoagie, you know how I like it my maple-glazed-hen." And so, twenty minutes after I spoke with the lady in Broward my telephone rang again. "Hello, this is former President Bill Clinton..." He proceeds to tell me how important it is to vote. How democracy is important, and every vote can make a diffence. Arkansas Bill didn't even endorse the democratic party. He simply stated that voting was important and stressed participation in the system. I'm not sure I learned a lesson. But I can say I'm impressed with the Democratic party's response time. If for no other reason at all, vote Democrat today. Keep little Arkansas Bill in BBQ Sauce. Ryan Sweep Sweep, Lift Lift October 30th, 2006 11:34 This week I'm having a new garage door installed. The installers need a clear space to work and assemble the new door. My garage was a mess. Saturday I spent a fair amount of time out there throwing out old ketchup brochures, expired packets of salad dressing, and all the junk one attracts when a garage is available. Mistie, Desiree, Tonya, and I drove to the Fort Lauderdale Boat Show on Saturday afternoon. We wanted to see Boating-Businessman-Bubba in his natural habitat. He looked happy with his new job. His booth was a few feet from painter Guy Harvey's booth. Guy Harvey is the most popular marine artist around these days. His images adorn at least two shirts in every boaters closet. The show brought back a lot of great memories for me. I spent many an hour roaming the docks and exploring yaghts. I used to imagine playing in the emergency life rafts, and driving tubular submarines. Mistie laughted and said it was funny how there are different kinds of kids. Pastors kids, teachers kids, doctors kids, farm kids. I was a boatshow kid adorned in Guy Harvey tank tops, short shorts, polarized sunglasses, and speary TopSiders. You know, the shoes you wear without socks. Deck Shoes. Smell that. Mmmm: Diesel. Ryan Brahma just might be a Jealous. God. October 25th, 2006 07:33 I posted my latest finished painting in the gallery. Check it out. I'm nearly done with another. I've picked up several pieces from the pile of unfinished paintings and started working. The cold snap must have knocked something loose in my brain, and gotten the creative juices flowing. I love the fall. The art trade is coming. Look busy. Ryan Mustache October 13th, 2006 13:06 I'm going to the Pitt vs. UCF game tonight. Whatever the outcome, it will be a real pleasure to heckle Dave Wannstedt. He was the Dolphins coach, and ran the team into the ground. I plan on giving him a lot of grief from the sideline. Saturday there's talk of kayaking or going to the beach. Sunday, I'll go to the market on Lake Eola before driving south to watch the Fins take on the Jets. I hate the Jets. Speaking of which, I was listening to sports radio in Palm Beach this week, and the host invited the official radio announcer for the Jets on his show. They were discussing the rivalry, and made a great point. They said New York Jets fans hate Miami fans because the Dolphins have had success against them, winning big games. Meanwhile, Dolphins fans hate Jets fans because they're New Yorkers. Right on. We're not afraid of their football skill. We just don't like them as people. Usually you don't hear such truth on AM sports radio. To hold up my end of this rivalry, let me add that New Yorkers complain a lot about how pizza isn't like back home, but they refuse to leave Florida forever and eat pizza back home. And they eat live babies. That's what I heard. Ryan Getting Dirty October 3rd, 2006 20:41 Last night I started my move. Baby steps. I would like to live in Orlando before my wedding on September 2nd of next year. I started my move by making a list. I listed all of the things I should repair, inside and out. I typed it up in my office, while HGTV preached the home selling gospel in my living room. Tips for painting: Amen. Better curb appeal: Holy Holy. Elimination of clutter: Hallehluyah. Yesterday I was redeemed and today I visited the congregation. Home Depot. I bought landscaping supplies, and ordered an estimate on replacing my garage door. Next I... Next.... My next..... Oh Holy holy, I just got to dance, ljdf buuuussbbeu bbeooddutttu bbeaaccc me hoeee woeee.... Sorry, I needed a moment to speak in tongues. Next I will have a roofing company give me an estimate on cleaning my roof. Ryan A Win, And I'm Tired. September 24th, 2006 17:16 Big Win. I flew into Orlando last night from California, and then drove home. I was drained when I woke up, but made a run to the grocery store for sandwiches for the Dolphins game. It was so hot, and someone in the row behind us smelled like a dead, dirty, butt. My Dad and Tonya were nearly vomiting, but the stench wasn't blowing my direction. Yuck! The Dolphins won. Our first this year. Some fans booed Daunte, but I've got his back. Baby steps, he's got to get comfortable. Captain INTENSO, a crazy and very intense individual, told me he's more frustrated now than when the Fins went 4-12 because his expectations are higher. I understand. Now I need a shower, and to relax. I'm in my own bed tonight, and can do some much needed chores around here this week. "Lord I was born a ramblin' man, trying to make a living and doing the best I can." Ryan Stanislaus County September 22nd, 2006 08:24 It's 6:30 am. I'm in my hotel room in Modesto, California. Yesterday I woke up at 4:00 a.m. I was bored, and couldn't sleep so I worked out. It was surprising to find so many other people in the fitness center, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I'm here for Tomato Boot Camp at Escalon. It's a two day training program, part of my job with Heinz. Wednesday I explored downtown San Francisco. I saw Alcatraz, The Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf, and the biggest city I've ever seen. Downtown was hustlin' and bustlin'. Tonight I drive back to San Francisco and stay near the Airport. Saturday I come home. I can't wait. It's been a long couple of weeks. I've significantly upgraded my status as a Hilton Hotels Honors participant. I've stayed in St. Augustine, Jacksonville, Tallahassee, Modesto, and San Francisco. I'm no longer a blue member... Now I'm Silver. The new status gets me stuff. I'm not sure what stuff, but damn yes, I'll be getting it. Ryan Jacksonville September 12th, 2006 08:33 I'm in a Hampton Inn in Saint Augustine. I drove up yesterday. I really like St. Augustine. It's amazing how different it can be from Jacksonville, just up the coast. Jacksonville is miles of strip malls, and urban sprawl. Saint Augustine is the oldest city in the world, or something like like. I wasn't really paying attention to the signs. But the little streets and alleys wind over cobbles, around small parks, and by the river. I visited the winery, The Black Fly gallery, and had dinner at a cuban restaurant on the water. I had a great time visiting in the Black Fly Gallery (www.blackflyart.com). Vaughn's art is fun. Today I work in this area then move on up to Jacksonville. Painting August 31st, 2006 08:59 I'm working on a concept for a next painting. In the past year I've tried to challenge myself with new projects. Now I'd like to combine the things I've learned in one piece. The concept brings together ugly and beautiful. It's a social/environmental commentary. What's the ugly? An old abandoned Kmart, with an empty parking lot. Acres of pavement in what once was beautiful nature. This goes back to the landscapes I've done this year. The beautiful would be in the foreground. A dazzling dragonfly, close up. I would try to capture the dreary parking lot, perhaps painting it in monochromatic greys, then really make the dragonfly bright with colors. I want to create a complete piece, with greater dimension. I would also like to pay closer attention to line in this piece. So that, geometrically the parking lot/abandoned store work. Thought I'd share what's on my mind. Stay posted to see how this concept develops. Ryan Ryan's Movie Review August 28th, 2006 08:34 Idlewild. Starring Andre' 3000 & Big Boi The boys from Outkast teamed up with a video director to produce Idlewild. The director added a lot of really interesting touches. I really enjoyed the camera work, and the story was fun. The movie was packed with songs, and one thing that kinda cracked me up was that the audience was mostly older white folks. They seemed to enjoy the jazz-hip hop fusion. Or I should say, nobody got up and left. My overall rating is FUN. Invincible. Starring Marky Mark and the girl from the bookstore/bathtub in The 40 Year-Old Virgin. The filmakers captured the drearily-depressed north, in the late 1970's. Labor strife and a shortage of work for dim-witted yankee factory workers with especially strong accents, sets the scene for a heroic story about the love of football. I thought this movie was wonderful because it's about a football fan. Vince Poppoli. The guy would make big tackles, or score a touchdown, and point to his section in the stands. Beautiful. If you love football, you'll love this movie. If you don't love football go back to Russia. Or, rent Bend It Like Beckham and invite me over for movie's and popcorn. Season August 12th, 2006 12:29 For those of you who don't go to myspace, but do check my website... Bless you. Also, I'm engaged! I proposed to Mistie on Megens Beach in St. Thomas on August 3rd. We were on vacation for 9 days, and it was wonderful. We sailed, kayaked, explored the islands, and drove on the left side of the road. The island food was tasty. It was one of the best weeks of my life. Today- I'm sitting at my desk, in a messy office, looking out into a backyard which needed to be mowed a week ago and now has blades of grass which are nearly up to my waist. Today is Saturday, which means I really should be out there grooming the yard. But I'm not. Today is the first Miami Dolphins preseason game. I'm decked out in my Fins gear and waiting for Alex, John, Devon, and Cye to show up. We're going to have a blast. I love football. This Morning- I did get some work done. I bought a power sander and went to work on the old bottom paint on my sailboat. I want to get out on the water and feel the wind. My day trip in Saint Thomas aboard the Morningstar with Mistie really motivated me to get the Dorothy Gish finished. Chop Choppy Chop Choppy Random Thoughts Still July 29th, 2006 09:47 I slept in this morning. It's a wonderful luxury, sleeping in. Though too many late mornings consecutively can lead to slothfulness, in my humble opinion. I awoke to the sound of pots, pans, and water. My brother was cleaning up the remnants of last nights dinner. I stretched while still in bed. Oh I love fresh sheets! By the time I put some shorts on and opened the door to my room, Bubba was gone. He's a working man. I'm feeling great, well rested, so I decide to start my day with some exercise. I read while I peddle and chock up more imaginary miles. Miles & minutes I've come to know fairly well in the past year & half. I've learned a lot about myself this year. Two important things I've learned are that habits are easily formed, and it takes as much work to start a good habit as it does a bad one. I continue working-out with a small weight and then do some stuff with the pilates ball. The house is quiet, I only hear the burble of the fish tank filter. A trickle of water. Yesterday in Publix I bought two grapefruit spoons, at Bubba's recommendation. I utilized one this morning on a delicious red grapefruit. Finally, I cleaned my sink in the bathroom and hopped into the shower. This has been one of the most pleasant mornings I can recall. A still moment, filled with small actions. Today I turn 27 years-old. Later, I party with many of my closest friends and family. But right now, I sit back and enjoy the little things that make up life. Ryan More Cheers for the Maitland Art Center July 15th, 2006 10:02 This year's pARTicipation reception was so much fun. This event brings artistis and people who love origional art together. I met a lot of nice people, and had a blast talking about how I make my art. I also love challenging those who don't believe they are artists. I believe everyone is an artist. Everyone has a deep need to express themself. The art center helps bring this out in people. I'd like to thank Les and Gloria from the MAC for hosting such a great evening. Also, remember that next Saturday is the Maitland Art Center's member show and the hands-on art making event. Both of these are open to the public, so please come check out the terrific art. I'll be researching photos of Wine Country this week, as two of my patrons requested a multi-panel painting for their home. It will be a challenge, but last year I'd never painted a dog before... Make Art. Ryan pARTicipation 2006, THIS FRIDAY! July 12th, 2006 16:00 DATE: Reception: Friday, July 14, 2006 6:30 pm – 8:30 pm Hands-On event: Saturday, July 22 10 am – 4 pm AUDIENCE: Open to General Public PATRON COST: One Hundred Dollars for each time slot with Artist FORMAT: The format for this event is as a progressive event. First, on Friday, July 14, 2006 MAC offers the reception and sign-up portion. Each artist has the opportunity to display 1 piece of artwork in the MAC gallery. This is when the potential art patron has the first time to view and sign-up with their prospective artist. But there is a twist. In order to create a sense of drama, we conduct this as a lottery-style sign-up. The first ticket holder is allowed to sign-up first. Next, On Saturday, July 22, 2006 MAC offers the pARTicipation event. We set the stage in our Germaine Marvel Community Building as a high-energy creation station. This year we are also adding a MEMBERS SHOW concurrent to the event. This will be as an added benefit for our MAC members as well as increase traffic and awareness of our event as we move forward to develop and support the artistic community. Located at: 231 W. Packwood Ave. Maitland Florida USA 32751-5596 407.539.2181 fax 407.539.1198 Optimist at heart July 11th, 2006 07:59 That's right. I am. I can't help it, I just assume or feel the best will happen in any given situation. Maybe it's my old-time religion upbringing (yes, I know the bible mostly doom & gloom, but you've got to be VERY optimistic to be a martyr right?), but I believe good things happen for good people. These thoughts were brought about last night, when I went to get some groceries late. I grabbed a wrap in the deli section and some fresh fruit. I picked a real winner of a bag of red flame grapes and had a vision of sorts. Truths were revealed, and I'm here today to share this gift with you. So what's the big secret. Maybe the secret to eternal happiness? Here you go, let's call it the book of Ryan, Chapter 1:1-3: "Every red flame grape I eat, is the best tasting red flame grape I've ever had. In my entire life. I mean, those things are good. So crisp and wonderful. And don't get me started on plouts. Mmmm... Plouts.... {and the prophet salivated}... Amen." There you go folks, a true vision. Ryan p.s. I'm not a true prophet. p.s.s. My denying my prophetude makes me an even greater prophet doesn't it? p.s.s. Doh! City: "Clean this lake." Alex and I: "OK" July 8th, 2006 17:47 This morning Alex and I woke up way too early considering how late we were all up the night before. It was for a good cause though. We went to downtown Orlando, inflated our kayaks, and filled three large trash bags with litter, debris, and well mostly beer cans and bottles. Here's an interesting fact. People who drink Natural Ice beer don't respect the environment. The worst item I pulled out of the lake was a old oil filter. This really pissed me off. It feels great to help. I don't regret the early morning. I'll do it again. On Friday I delivered Il Pescatore Inspired to the Maitland Art Center for pARTicipation 2006. I'll be in that show, and also a Members Show at the MAC on July 23rd. That's all for now. Ryan We Old Dudes June 28th, 2006 10:03 We Old Dudes By Joan Murray We old dudes. We White Shoes. We Golf ball. We Eat mall. We Soak teeth. We Palm Beach; We Vote red. We Soon dead. I read this in a literary magazine called Poetry, in their July/August issue. It's their humor issue, and is full of mostly inside literary jokes... According to Amy. I'm no literati. But this poem struck me as hilarious. It's inspired by another poem most of you would have read in highschool english class titled: We Real Cool, by Gwendolyn Brooks. Enjoy.... While you can. Old Dudes. Long Hours, working & driving June 26th, 2006 16:14 I peddled ketchup and ketchup accessories all over north Florida last week. I visited exotic locals such as Crescent City, Ulley, Amelia Island, Jacksonville, and Palatka. The restaurants I visited weren't as close to each other as they are in other parts of the State, so I had a lot of dashboard time. The Extended Stay Suites in Jacksonville was my homebase, and what it lacked in ammenities, it made up for in construction noise and a loud air conditioner. The good news is I was able to see some great people. Mark and Joi are so much fun. We went to sushi & a nice little pizza place, and Mark and I went disc golfing. Friday after my meetings I drove to Savannah. I stayed with Nathan, Kristen, and Luke. Luke is my god-son. He's such a big boy, nearly 3. Luke and I played a lot, and Nathan and I played some more disc golf. I also stopped in Melbourne and had dinner with John on my way home Saturday. After all of this adventuring, I slept in on Sunday. I was lazy, played video games, read, and did a whole lot of nothing. It was glorious. July is coming, which means pARTicipation 2006. You should come to the Maitland Art Center for this event. Do it. Ryan Wet Brushes June 19th, 2006 16:59 This weekend I painted. I did it for at least 5 hours and it feels great to slop some paint on canvas. I bought 4 18 x 24 gallery wrapped canvas for .95 each at Pearls. WHAT A BARGAIN! I gave one to Cye for his birthday. The one I worked on the most is called "Il Pescatore Inspired." It's obviously inspired by Il Pescatore, the greatest Italian restaurant in America. I'll display this piece in the Maitland Art Center for pARTicipation 2006. Once the event is over, I'm going to give the painting to Il Pescatore as a gift for all their warm hospitality and good cookin'. Now, it's time to mow the lawn before my entire home is enveloped in a mixture of grass, weeds, and fire ants. Ryan Killing time June 15th, 2006 07:56 I've spent a solid amount of free internet time on rpssuperchallenge.com It's an online rock paper scissors stage. You can play live against others, or send challenges via email. Anyways, that's why I hadn't updated in a while. I'm currently ranked #6 in the world. Not bad? This weekend I'll be heading over to the Maitland Art Center, to gain inspiration for an exhibition they are holding in August. Next week, I'll be in Jacksonville from Tuesday-Friday, then I'll drive to Savanna for the night to hang out with Nathan, Kristen, and Luke. Luke's 3rd birthday is July 7, and they'll be in Roatan. So, I'm spending a little time with him when I can. Ryan Are you interested in soups? June 9th, 2006 08:34 My face hurts from talking and smiling. Feet & legs from standing for 10 hours in a small booth, decorated with poker cards, money signs, and six cases of ketchup. An ancient couple shuffle past, eyeing my ketchup bottle pyramid. They have the itch. And free shit at a foodshow is the only thing that can scratch it. They put on a very serious "I'm a customer, interested in something new I've tried before and could I please try a sample of ketchup?" face. It's disgusting to see people lower themselves to such levels for a free bottle of ketchup. Later, when it gets a little slow I have the MC announce that we're having a contest. The top five customers who order frozen soups from us in the next hour will win a commemorative Pittsburgh Steelers Super Champions ketchup bottle. I sell nearly 200 cases that hour. All for a free bottle of ketchup. What's the lesson of the story? I'm not sure. But people love ketchup. I'm cruising to the keys this weekend with a festivus of people. Have a good one. Ryan Louisville, KY May 26th, 2006 12:23 I'm writing from the Spalding University Library. I'm here for my pal Amy's graduation. She's earned her MFA in creative writing, and has a posse of well-wishers here to represent FLORIDA. I drove from Ocala to Chattanooga, TN. Alex took us the remaining five-ish hours to Louisville. The mountains in Tennessee were beautiful. I need to explore this whole region more, considering its proximity to home. There could be some fun long weekend trips in the future. Downtown Louisville is wonderfull. I could live here. It's full of culture, amazing architecture, and fun little restaurants etc. If I don't check in before my return home, have a great weekend! Ryan Fun on the Run Part II May 23rd, 2006 08:48 The river was wide, bordered by thousands of lilly pads and water lillies. We coasted past the large Gator, without making much noise. The river got progressively darker as we ventured downstream. Soon, the water morphed from crystal clear, to a deep onyx black. Sticks, branches, and logs lurked slightly below the surface waiting to slice our inflatable kayaks. Alex and I slowly progressed downstream. Very slowly. We found a spot in the river to get out and apply sunblock. Smart. Cye and Ian were sunburned when we met up with them later. Over long sections of river, Alex and I were forced to lie on our chests, on the bows of our kayaks, and pull ourselves over the debris by hand. The river was beautiful but exhausting. We lifted over HUGE logs which were lying across the entire river. We ducked under others.Several times, we caught up to Ian & Cye. They usually waited in areas that were particularly dangerous. What an expedition! Finally, the river opened up and the underwater debris lessened. We could paddle without fear of sinking. FREEDOM. The water cleared up, and flow of the river increased. We cruised by miles of natural Florida, stopping several times to swim or explore the banks of the river. There are several camp sites out there, which we'd like to use one day. Six hours after we started, and nine miles later, we made it to Kings Landing. Our kayaks were in one piece. "In your face canoe rental lady!" I could write pages on our journey, but I think you get the gist of it. It was long, fun, adventerous, dangerous, etc. Note: The weekend we made this journey, three people were attacked and killed by Alligators in Florida. We didn't know this when we set out. Danger. Danger. Danger. Ryan ------------Intermission----------- May 16th, 2006 17:37 During this break in my exciting saga, please take a moment to view new paintings in my gallery. Brought to you by, well, me. Ryanwollard.com, That's right folks. The one who brought you Guy on Vacation, The Cuban, and the Riots in France series. Mmm... That's mighty fine art. RyanWollard.com "You'll never make it!" Fun on the Run part I May 15th, 2006 16:29 After a late Friday night, Alex, Cye, Ian, and I woke with the sunrise. Though tired, we were excited about the possibilities of the day. Cye brought bagels, which we ate quickly as we loaded our cars with oars, kayaks, and other expeditionionary supplies. Our destination was the Rock Springs Run. This is a spring/river which runs for eight miles through beautiful Central Florida. After dropping one of the cars off at Kings Landing, our final destination, we made our way to Kings Landing. I know, they have the same name. But, they're different places on the same river. Alex and unpacked our kayaks and began to inflate them. Ian and Cye paid to rent a canoe. The folks who operated the marina (if one could call the narrow lot littered with the remains of once-great canoes, piled high with visible patch jobs that just weren't enough to salvage the vessels) were quite skeptical of our adventure. "The run is eight miles, and should take about four hours... In a canoe. You know a girl came down here once with an inflatable kayak she said was rated for whitewater rafting, and she didn't make it out of our canal." Said the proprietor of Kings Landing Canoe Rentals. She was in her late thirties to early fourties and had the look of a proprietor of a canoe rental shack in the woods. "I don't know, I think ya'll're crazy. You'll be coming back up this way. You'll never make it down the entire run." "I think we'll take our chances," Alex replies. Alex and I continue to inflate our boats, but we pause and look at each other. Should we continue? This will be his Kayaks' maiden voyage. His previous kayak "Lil' Blue" sprung a leak... While on this very river. We retired it to a dumpster located at the other Kings Landing. Our gear is stowed in a mesh bag which straps to our kayaks, and we launch our small crafts into very dark, brown, sludgy water. Alex goes first. The boat launch is so shallow that his kayaks bottom sits on the canal floor. He's not moving. He gets out and pushes his kayak further into the water, but also gets a very muddy leg in the process. I carry my kayak to the end of the dock and launch into deeper water. Alex and I start paddling as Ian and Cye push off in their rented canoe. Together we all make our way down a long narrow canal, canopied by maple and cyprus trees. The water is dark, and sticks and tree branches are evident below the surface. For six dollars Alex purchased an inflatable raft at Big Lots, which is a discount store in town. He calls it his life raft. We may need it. We negotiate the canal and finally make our way into the clear water of Rock Springs Run. Now this is more like it! Clear water with much less debris flows confidently between water lillies and ferns. The sky is blue and cloudless. It's warm but not muggy. Alex and I jump into the water to clean up and cool off. We hop back into our kayaks and start to make our way downstream. About 100 yards after we've gotten out of the water, we pass an 8 foot alligator lounging on the sandy banks in the early morning sun. YIKES! To be continued... Art Auction, Silent but Something May 9th, 2006 21:00 So I donated "Riots in Strasbourg, November 2005" to the Winter Park Florida Library. They have an annual silent auction which features art, wine, dinner at fancy local restaurants and more. The auction took place last week, I was told. I didn't know for sure, because the library is especially bad at informing me of anything in regards to my painting and this event. I never received an invitation or email confirming my donation. I was expected to pay the full entry fee to the event, even though I don't live in Winter Park, and therefore am not permitted to even check a book out of said library. So, I donated a painting worth 7.00 and was told to pay another .00 for the honor to attend an event in which they took my 7.00 and put it in their pocket. A week after the auction, I still haven't been asked to pick up my painting. Alex works at the library, and says the painting isn't in the building anymore. So it must have sold. I wouldn't know. How much did it sell for? How many bids did it receive? Is the library enjoying the fruits of my labor? I can only answer the last question: Yes. I'm going to call them this week, and let them know they aren't very good at auctions. Once I know more I will post the selling price and details... Ryan "when it comes to charity, Maitland's a good honest city" Wollard Birthday Extravaganza May 4th, 2006 16:22 So it begins. Birthday season. This weekend is Alice Copeland's 3rd birthday. I went shopping for her presents with Mistie, and I hope she like's them. They're fun presents, but can't live up to the ultimate present for a little girl... A pony. That's what her grandpa got her. She's going to LOVE it. Mistie is in town, and we're going over to her folks house on Friday. The party is there, on Sunday. I love the drive out on 98 to Arbuckle creek. It's beautiful. I've still got lots of art half done. I need to finish a few new paintings to liven up the gallery. Stay tuned. Tonight is volleyball night. We're going to leave early to come back to my house and BBQ. A festivus of people will attend. Smell you later, Ryan The Plan April 26th, 2006 18:48 O.K. So here's my plan... This summer I will be on a mission. Here's what I'll be doing: Kayaking - Hopefully around the state. Working - All over Central Florida. Fixing- My house. New Roof, finish fencing yard, fix screens on porch. Road Tripping - To Loiusville for Amy's graduation. Celebrating - Tons of birthday's, and summer. Sailing - In my new boat. The Dorothy Gish. Aloe-ing - Sun Burns are in my forecast. But I'll try to reapply sunblock. Snorkeling - In the Keys. Painting - When I get a chance, and at the Maitland Art Center in July. Reading - Always. So there it is, my plan. It should be a wild summer! Ryan What's in a name? April 12th, 2006 16:09 I've done it! I purchased my first boat. This is a great moment in any Wollard's life, as we're generally an ocean going people. My Great x 10 grandfather sailed to "The New World" on a boat he and his sons built, named The Lady Wollard. This was before the USA existed. Ever since, we've taken to the sea. Now I face an important decision. What to name my boat. Here are the details. It's a Boston Whaler, Harpoon 5.2. It's 17' long. It's an offwhite color(gellcoat) with dark red bottom paint and lettering. Not my actual boat, but the model. I'm now accepting name ideas. Give me your best in my guestbook. Here are a few ideas I've had so far: -Chupacabra -Anticipation (with sideways ketchup bottle on stern w/name) -Mr. Boat -Sir Sails Abit These are... O.K. But I'm sure you can do better. My favorite so far is Mr. Boat. Ryan Tax Man April 11th, 2006 07:35 I really procrastinated this year. I waited until April 10th to complete my taxes. I wish I had done them sooner, because I'm getting a decent return. This is exciting for many reasons, the first of which is that I will probably be purchasing a small daysailor type sailboat. Something I can tow with my car and can fit up to four people, would be optimal. I've dreamed of sailing for years and years. I'm very excited. I should spend the money on my roof, yard, garage door, boring boring boring boring. No. I will have my own captains hat. And that's that. Ryan Daylight Crazy Time April 5th, 2006 18:19 I have a love-hate relationship with time changes. I wonder: "Why bother with it? Wouldn't the sun go down later in the day during this time of year without us all shifting our clocks?" I really enjoy having daylight after a long work day. It's nice to water my plants and yard. But, without moving the hands on a clock, wouldn't I have more time anyways? I only know how this effects Florida. Maybe there is a drastic difference somewhere else. But I can't see the point in all this. I'm having a tough time getting up early. My plan is to fully embrace the change, and get up even earlier than normal. Hopefully, my body will adjust soon. Ryan Autographed Rock April 3rd, 2006 13:09 Below, you will find messages posted on IanJonesart.com. Ian is my friend, and a hell of an artist as well. Anthony Reiner posted a long rant about politics/war/the state of things. I was impressed. And below you will see how others responded: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ryan Wollard: Did you write that Anthony? That's incredible. Bravo. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anonymous: That was a rant to end all rants. So how do we counteract all of America's wrongs? I, for one, feel powerless. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ian: being anonymous is a part of the feeling powerless problem. If all I have is rocks to chuck at this huge wrong problem, then I am putting my signature on every one of them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Amy: Damn, yeah, Ian! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I couldn't agree more Ian. I get down about the state of things in the world, and that's usually when I paint my political art. Notice how the amount of politically charged art I've produced has increased? I believe artists have a great responsibility. My canvas is my rock, and I sign each one. Good on ya' Ian. Ryan Gratitude March 30th, 2006 22:06 I'm feeling good. I'm in one of those moments when life is good, and I can see it. I'm stopping, to smell the gardenia's in bloom in my front yard. I live in paradise. Florida is so wonderful. This past week I was able to kayak quite a bit, and swim in lakes. This weekend I'm going to the beach. I'll be in Coco Beach with Alex, Amy, Mistie, and Alice. I've got a job and bosses I like. And Rossism can do really well this year if we just make it happen. I will be in the Maitland Art Center's pARTicipation event again this year, and I will also be in a show and event at the Winter Park Library. I'm in the best health of my life. Tonight I played volleyball, and I felt like I was back to my old form. Bump. Set. Spike. Tonight I went to dinner with my Mom. When Bubba gets home, we're hottubing. Thank you. Friends. Life is good. On and In Water March 26th, 2006 10:27 I'm in Orlando this weekend. Late last week, I took my new Clear Blue Hawaii inflatable Kayak for it's maiden voyage, and this weekend Alex and I have taken to the lakes of Winter Park. My kayak has a "glass bottom" hard plastic/vinyl floor, so I can see the plants and fish below. It's going to be incredible at the springs and in the Keys. This is great exercise, and it feels so good to be on the water. I love to jump off the kayak in the middle of the lake. I also love to lie down in it, and let the wind push me over the choppy waters. Water. Live it. Ryan Eulogy March 19th, 2006 16:50 My buddy was always there for me. He and I met when we were young, and grew up together. He always brought a smile to my face, and made me laugh. His sense of humor was one of his best attributes. He was strong, but never used his strength as a tyrant. Born El Guapo (the handsome), he was separated from his mother, and about 47 brothers and sisters when he was still a guppy. El Guapo was shipped to a pet store in Orlando, and that's where we met. Pet Bazzar was once the greatest shop for exotic fresh water fish, of all sizes. I was a teenager, living in a dank apartment known as the "Animal House." Mostly because of the parties, though we did have a cat and my fish tank. We connected on first site. I had bought my tank earlier in the year, and already had a decent collection of exotic South American Cichlids (fish). El Guapo was the same breed as another larger fish I had already bought: Managuense Cichlid (or Jaguar Cichlid). He was green and light yellow, with dark black stripes. He was maybe 1.5 inches long. A baby. For several days, El Guapo explored his new home. The other fish, larger fish, didn't mind him. One fateful day, he swam up to a large fish. Magnum was his name. Magnum casually opened his mouth, and ever so slightly swam forward. He slowly closed his mouth. I watched the entire thing happen. Magnum basically swallowed half of El Guapo. The weird thing is, he wasn't trying to eat the little fish. I know this because he casually opened his mouth, freeing El Guapo, and swam away as if nothing had happened. In this moment, SCARFACE was born. His face was disfigured. His jaw completely broken. Scarface was hurt, and he swam to the bottom of the tank to hide in the rocks. I didn't think he would make it. I went for my net to try and catch the little guy before he lodged himself in a rock where I couldn't reach him. It's very dangerous to leave dead fish in a tank with live ones. My roommates said "No, he'll make it, don't flush him." I didn't think it would be possible for him to survive his injuries, but it was too late. Scarface was gone, hiding in a labyrinth of rock on the tank floor. A month or so passed, and I was about to clean my tank, knowing I would find a grizzly specimen beneath the rocks. When I moved a large rock, Scarface emerged. He was alive. His jaw was scared over, but the skin was very tender. It was transparent, and I could see his left half lower-jaw moving indepently of his mouth. I was both sad and excited. As time passed, he emerged from hiding and rejoined the community in the tank. And he grew. Two years later, Scarface was the largest fish in the tank. He had made it, against all odds, to be king of his world. Scarface was my favorite, and he ate from my hand. We were buddies. We spent the better part of my college years together. I was forced to move my entire tank to Fort Lauderdale when I moved into an apartment which didn't allow fish tanks. My family took care of my fish, and Scarface quickly became the family favorite as well. He was a charmer. Here he lived in a huge 125 gallon tank, with lots of other big fish, but sure enough he made it his tank. After college I bought my first house, and was reunited with Scarface. I transported him to my home in a large cooler, with the help of a battery powered air pump. Here in Port Saint Lucie, Scarface lived his last days. He was over 7 years-old. He had grown to be over fourteen inches long, and several pounds in weight. His face had regained some color, but his mouth could never close entirely. He was handsome. A giant. A legend. Scarface contracted a disease from one of the other fish, and though we tried to save him by medicating the entire tank he wasn't able to pull through. I was with him until the end. I loved that fish. Scarface's life was a success, against all odds. He could have been a mean-spirited bully, and nobody would have blamed him. He turned his handicap into his greatest attribute. He added goodness & love to the world, and that's how I gauge a well-lived life. I look at my tank now, and it's empty. There's still water, and a few more fish in the tank, but without Scarface the tank is empty. New Art and Some Golden Oldies February 28th, 2006 11:15 I added my final installment of the Riots in Paris series: Riots in the Clichy-sous-Bois, November 2005. (I think it's pronounced: ClEE Chee Soo Bwah) I'm excited about this piece, and am glad I took some extra time to work on the fire. It glows baby. I also added the following hits from my past, which were never loaded onto my website: The Joy of Dance Always the Skeptic Color Study Paper Fun How to Draw a Duck I'm home this week. I'm feeling inspired and will start work on at least two more paintings. One will be on guesso board. Have a great day, Ryan Follow the dotted line February 22nd, 2006 22:14 I've been out on the road all week. Month. I haven't spent much time at home lately. I need to mow my lawn, and possibly install new shingles on my roof. But when? This week I crossed the state via State Road 70 again. It's a fun drive. I stopped in Okeechobee to see my brother Steve's worksite, and he took me for a ride on a swamp mobile. It's like 12 feet tall with enormous tires. It was a fun tour. I've been blitzing the Tampa market since then. I sell soup, and am called a soup nazi weekly. I smile, because it's still a little and I mean little bit funny. Mostly because I then get to act mean to people as part of the joke. Today I made a sale at the Tampa Museum of Science and Industry, and the buyer took me into the main exhibit hall. I saw the cadaver exhibit. It's sick what some scientist do for a living. These poor people were sliced and diced and all their organs were on display. I have a funny job. I never know what I'll see. In traffic this morning, I saw a bald eagle land on one of those TALL light poles on the highway. It was very pretty. This evening, I visited Omar & Shawana and their two boys. They are funny boys, about 14 months old. They're twins, and were shy at first but eventually warmed up to me. We played a bit, and I had a great time with Omar. He really needs to come around more often. Shawana was working most of the night, so we were on baby duty. Tomorrow I will work in Tampa, and eventually make my way towards Lakeland. Hopefully I'll see my cousin Laura. Then, off to the City Beautiful. Happy Trails To You... Until We Meet Again Clique's on Parade February 15th, 2006 21:22 Exploring the internet, specifically MySpace, I have come across a strange discovery. The clique's of my youth are still strong. Each social group I've come across appears to be intact. Pictures are posted online; parties, events, and who knows what. Every week, someone asks to be added to my MySpace friends list. When I go to their page to see what's new in their lives, I discover pictures of them with their friends. The same friends they rolled with back in highschool. I think it's great that people have stayed in touch. Even if I don't like the people in the group, it's good to know that bonds have held. Forest Lake Academy (the christian boarding highschool I attended) was a tough place. The rules were strict, and the administration wasn't fit to take care of seamonkey's (mostly, there were a few good people mixed in with the nutjobs). I lived on campus, and the friends I made I've kept, and will keep for life. It's good to know others feel the same way. And now, harnessing the power of technology each clique can form anew, and shun all others. It will be a blast. Ryan "Sitting on the cyber blue-benches by the flagpole" Wollard A Stolen Kiss February 13th, 2006 21:37 I imagine she turns and sees me enter the room. I grin a sexy masculine grin, looking into her eyes as I walk towards her. We embrace, and I kiss her. It's a moment of passion. The guy: Me. The girl: The inventor of Hot Tubs. Oh you inventor of hot tubs, you've smitten me. You have turned me into a relaxed version of my former self. I am foam in the heated bubbles of your embrace. You are the multi-colored lighting system of love and the thermostat set to 105 degrees. Happy Valentine's Day Everybody! The Power of Art February 8th, 2006 18:31 In February of 2006, several drawings printed in Danish newspapers led to violent protests worldwide. While most reports on this hot topic have focused on the responses of western governments and media, I've yet to hear anyone discuss the place of art in this crisis. A few drawings, simple representations of Muhammad which were printed months before the rioting began, are responsible for the amazing outcry seen worldwide. This week world leaders begged for an end to the violence. Embassies were burned. A simple drawing. A few lines, and some color, and poof... Riots. It is my opinion that these images are not the sole reason people turned to violence. But, they are a catalyst. I'm amazed. Floored even. The power of the pen, brush, or keyboard can still be mightier than the sword. I've studied propaganda, and am amazed at how perceptions of the masses can be swayed with Art. Art is power. Don't forget it. I will be painting more political art this year. It will be balanced with my usual silly stuff. I feel better when I create a painting which deals with the world, and issues we are facing in our time. I don't want to bum anyone out, or be a buzzkill, but these issues are major and need to be addressed. Peace, Ryan January's nearly done? January 31st, 2006 22:17 This month is over. Only 11 more until the next Rossist New Year's Eve! This isn't the point of my post, just an observation I just made myself. Last weekend I taught my first painting workshop. Many rossists & family converged on Loch Haven Park in Orlando. We played croquet, tossed a frisbee, and painted. Kelly, Kim, and I each created a painting from the same source image. It's of a giraffe, in front of a blazing sunset. I showed them how I blotch, and they did a great job. Kim's came out looking like a Van Gogh, with swirls. It was amazing, and her first acrylic painting ever. Kelly's was better than mine, in my opinion. She rocked blotchalism. Craig decided to paint a sunset over the water, with a boat in the foreground. It was looking really good when he left. Good enough to be finished in my books. But, he said he'd work more later. I can't wait to see how it turned out. Aaron also rocked his own style by creating an abstract painting. I really like his choice of color and design. I hope he brings it to the next trade. Sunday night I got together with my siblings + Melissa (Bubba's special lady friend), and my Mom for her birthday. We had some great Thai food. It was fun. Everyone was happy. That's a good thing, to get everyone together and see lots of smiles. We deserve it. It lead me to a thought... Family is knowing who to give the food you don't like. Because you know they do. One doesn't even need to ask. There's comfort in that simple gesture. Ryan Sticky Tangerine's January 26th, 2006 20:24 I was in a Salvation Army thrift store recently, and happened to find the greatest buy of this or any time (excluding the whole beads for Manhattan thing, but that was more robbery). My buddy Alex & I were looking for a silly hat to wear to the New Year's party, but instead we found a bicycle. A magical bicycle. It was in great shape for it's age. Maybe ten year's old, maybe less. For some odd reason, sitting next to other bike's which cost much much more, this bike only cost (I later named the it "Two Bits"). We weighed options, and didn't have many. Alex was already keeping a bike in his bedroom. Mistie didn't have room inside, and nowhere to chain it up outside. But Amy agreed that we should buy it, and chain it up under the staircase outside their apartment. YES! Since then, I've logged a few hours on Two Bits. It's such a fun bike to ride. It's solid, but not too heavy. Graceful, but can muscl